User Profile

In a world where so many other people are determined to be fake, arrogant bitches, I'm the one trying to break free from the habit. --- Anonymous

About me. Hmm, these always tend to make me really awkward, flustered, & nervous. My name is Claudia although I go by Candy occasionally (mostly Rebirth people but it's a catchy nickname :D). My life is interesting. It doesn't really change unless someone forces change on it. I've been through a lot & not all of it is something I want to share with the world. I have my secrets & not even a blog for people I don't know could make me tell them all. I'm a very real person. My personalty, in my eyes, is child-like. I don't want to grow up & I don't see a real reason too. When I'm angry, I'm vicious & I will cut you down (it just might take you a while to realize it). I'll stop thinking & I will just ACT. Maybe I'll apologize for it, maybe not. I'm real. I bleed. I live for the future. I want to be in love. I want to live my life as best as someone like me can. I appreciate everything I've been given. Some people might actually get joy from bringing me down & all that fun stuff but in the end, I'm going to have the last laugh.

I'm seventeen. The age where nothing important happens because it's in between the two most important ages of everyone's life. Funny, it's been quite the year for me. The year I turned seventeen has been plenty eventful. The year I moved, the year my life changed... I don't want to rant about it now. I'm not your typical teenager & I can say that with 100% positivity. I don't do drugs, I don't listen to rap, I don't wear slutty clothes & say things like "Aye, cuh, bby buy me a drank". Things like that make my hear bleed & my inner child die. I say violent things but NEVER will I act on them. I don't like fighting. "Why can't we all just get along?" would probably be my motto. I make mistakes, but isn't that normal? I'm not perfect, I don't claim to be. My moral compass doesn't exactly point due north but it's not going south, either.

Some things I hate, while we're figuring out who I am? I don't like to be judged. I'm different than you people think. I'm me but I'm also completely different. I hide myself & for good reason. I want to go back in time, restart my life over again. I want a do-over & that's impossible. I don't even deserve one. I want to go back to a time & place where my dreams & wishes felt like they could be a reality. I'm a dreamer, always have been. Maybe as my dreams start to fade & die, I'll become more down to earth, who knows? I don't live for the present.

I never really got a chance to enjoy my child hood. I had one, there were happy moments but sometimes, things happen in someone's life that makes moments like those fleeting & not as real & bright as they should be. Life isn't about bubbles of joy & waves of happiness. I've accepted that. I'm still a dreamer because more than anything, I want a fairy tale. It's stupid & naive but what else can we hold on too? I don't necessarily want a Prince Charming. The little stable boy in the story will do, or perhaps the soldier who always was the hero, even if he didn't get a chance to save a life. Someone who could be there for me like that would have saved my life & that's all I've ever wanted. It's wishful thinking but paradise does exist in one form or another. It's just a matter of trying to figure out how someone so small always manages to reach for the stars. You make think I'm a silly little girl whose head has been in the clouds for too long but even so, I think one day I have the potential to be truly happy & then whoever thought me to be some idiotic little girl with no life ahead of her can pass by me one day....I'll be smiling, blissful, & finally care-free. Happiness is a lovely hope, reaching it is the challenge.

Profile codes by: fading_melody.